11 December 2012

My Sweet Deacon

I'm not sure what happened.  Deacon started off the school year LOVING it and having a great time every day.  The only day there were tears was book fair day.  Then all that changed the week after Thanksgiving.  Three of those days he came out of his class at the end of the morning crying.  One day he got hit in the shoulder by another boy and was so upset he cried, but cried for so long he missed snack time, which upset him further.  Another day he was crying because he lost his hat on the bus.  That Thursday he came out crying because he missed me so much.  When he got home from school that Friday (Josh picked him up that day) he told me that he cried a little in school again, because he missed me.
The following week (last week) went a little better.  He only cried twice (I think) during school, but came out happy enough.  Thursday though, Thursday he came out crying again, climbed into my lap (I was sitting on a chair waiting for him) and continued to cry.  When he finally calmed down again he said it was because he missed me so much again.  Now, it does melt my heart a little when he says this, but it also has me a little concerned.  I mean, why now? What's going on? Nothing is different from the past 3 months he's been in school.
Last Thursday when we got home, I gave him and Finn some lunch, then put them down for naps.  While Deacon was napping I got out my knitting stuff, found a pattern online and knit him a little heart shaped stuffed "animal" thing.  I gave it to him when he woke up and told him it was for him to keep in his pocket while he's at school.  Then, if he starts to feel sad or starts to really miss me again, he can go in his pocket and take out his heart and hold on to it and know that I love him and I will be seeing him soon. He was super excited about it and put it right into his pocket.  He even put it by his pillow that night to "watch over him while he slept".  The next day he put it back in his pocket, I sent a note to his teacher so she knows it's there, and sent him off to school.  When I picked him up he said he got sad again, and missed me again, and forgot about his heart.  But we had a nice weekend with Josh home, and I thought having some time with Daddy, and all that would help.
I thought wrong.  Yesterday when I went to pick him up, he came out okay (not crying), but when I asked him how his day was he said he was sad for a little bit, then he was okay, then he got sad again.  I asked him if he used his heart and he said he forgot about it again.  I asked his teacher how he was and she shook her head and told me it wasn't good.  Yesterday he got so bad he refused to do his work or participate in any class activities for the first hour and half he was there.  She remembered the heart and told him he could take it out and hold it if he wanted, but he was just so down, for whatever reason and wouldn't come out of it.  (This, by the way, resulted in him having extra homework becaue he didn't do his work in class.)
So I talked to him, and Josh called and talked to him, and he just kept saying he was really tired in school and he was missing me too much.  We told him was okay to be sad, but it was not okay to not any of his work.  While his brothers watched TV last night, I put Deacon in bed.  We spent extra time reading together and we prayed for him to have better days at school, and we talked some more about the heart and his behavior.
Today went super well.  He came out of class smiling.  His teacher said he was happy all morning and did a great job as line leader and weather watcher.  He was like normal Deacon again.
Now this has me thinking.  Yesterday on the phone, Josh and I brainstorming different ideas as to what could suddenly be bothering him.  One of Josh's suggestions was that maybe he has a little touch of SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder).  So now I'm wondering if maybe he does.  Last week, Monday was a gorgeous day, and he did fine, but the rest of the week it rained and he was sad most of those days.  Yesterday was a foggy, wet day and he had another rough day.  This morning was sunny and nice and he had a great day.  (I can't remember back to the week it started - that might have been when it snowed?)  I guess I'll just continue to watch him and the weather?  I don't know.  I do know I hope it's just a phase that he gets out of quickly.  I don't like sending him to school, wondering if he'll be okay that day.  I don't want him to stop liking school because he cries most days. 
I'm also wondering a little if he's just a wee bit too young for kindergarten.  He won't be 6 until after school gets out.  I'm sure he's old enough academically, but what about emotionally?  Of course, if I do decide he's not old enough and take him out, would he be bored next year because he's not challenged enough even though he's more emotionally stable and ready?
Sigh.  Maybe the holiday break will set everything right and if we can just make it through the next 2 weeks, we'll be back on track.  Maybe he has SAD and I should take him to a doctor's.  Maybe he's just a "special in his own way" kind of kid and this is just his thing.  Although, I've never really pegged him as a cryer.  Maybe we'll just have to wait and see.

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