So, Tuesday morning I went to MOPS. The speaker was someone from the group and she brought in a video about nutrition, then discussed the video. Basically, what I got from this video, is that you are only supposed to feed your child fruits, veggies, nuts, and fish. This lead to my first question, "Where's the meat?" This question was left unanswered.
The other main thing this video taught was that kids are grazers and should be raised as such. In other words, let your kids snack (on fruits and veggies) all day. They suggest getting out a muffin pan, filling each of the cups with some other kind of food (carrot sticks, pretzels, strawberries, etc) and leaving that out all day long so the kid can just come and go and eat as he pleases. Now, I do sort of like this idea for Zeke because let's face it, the kid is a snacker, and not so much a meal eater. But I posed the question to the lady leading the discussion, "Does this mean the kids don't actually ever eat a meal?" She responded with, "Pretty much." So I asked, "Well, what about family dinner time?" And do you know, she looked at me and said, "Well, family dinner time is kind of an impractical thing. Toddlers are too little to ever sit still at the table, and as they get older, their schedules fill up and no one's around for dinner anyways."
WHAT?!
I'm sorry, but I think family dinner is a very important part of life. And a toddler will sit at the table for a good 5, if not 10 minutes. Sure, that's not enough time to eat dinner in, but at least he's there for part of it. And I look at Deacon, who is not a grazer, and he would starve if we didn't have set meal times. I really couldn't believe this woman said this. What's more, is that a majority of the women there seemed to agree. So, am I the weird one? Is it just me that enjoys sitting down as a family and eating together? Is it just me that likes meat and thinks it's important for my kids to eat it?
Then I had to laugh at the other ladies there. One woman was saying how her 7 1/2 year old only eats saltine crackers, Vienna sausages, cheese sticks and pickles. My thought? "Yeah, so? That's a good lunch for my kids once a week or so." Am I the weird one?
Another woman, and this just about killed me, goes, in as disgusted as a tone as you can make, "So, last night I made the mistake of leaving without feeding the kids first. Do you know what their father gave them for dinner? First, he had to go to the store because we don't ever have any of this stuff in the house, but he went and he bought hot dogs (pause), macaroni and cheese (pause), those baked beans with the little hot dogs in them, and pop (you know, soda). Can you even believe it?" Wow. Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese is what we have for dinner every Monday night. So I ask myself, am I the weird one?
Sigh. Luckily, all the other delinquents in the room were at my table so we had a good time laughing at ourselves and the things we feed our kids. I guess I'm not alone if I am the weird one. And my kids seem pretty healthy right? Let's take a look...
No, I think they look fine. So, maybe I'm not the weird one. I mean, I appreciate that what works for some doesn't work for all, but I sort of felt bad about my kids eating habits afterwards. Then I got over it. But, the more I think about it, the more I might try the grazing thing with Zeke, keeping it on the dinner table since Deacon can't reach up there (yet), and just keep doing meals with Deacon. I'll still have Zeke sit at the table with us for as long as he can make it, but I don't know. I guess I have some things to think about.
14 comments:
Yikes Beth, I'm glad you were the one sitting there and not me. I may be weird too, but I think family dinner time is VERY important...and the food is probably the least of my concerns.
We use this time to talk about our days, Emma tells Rick what she learned in school, sometimes we learn verses together, etc.
Sometimes Ethan struggles to sit for the whole dinner. There are times when Rick is late so the kids have snacked enough that they don't really eat, but they still sit with us. Generally this is our family's time to physically be in the same place and think about the same things.
I think you are right on - and I like meat too!:)
First let me say...YOU ARE NOT THE WEIRD ONE!! I have no idea what's wrong with a hot dog and mac & cheese! And I can't believe people think family dinning is impractical. What did our mom's, grandmom's, g-g-mom's do for all those years? They all made their kids sit down and eat dinner as a family. That's how I was raised. Everyone at the table, no TV, talking about their day. It's the only time that happens. We do it every night. It's all about the example you sete. If your kiddo whines and you let him get up from the table after only 2 minutes, that's going to be his pattern. Jack sits and eats dinner with us. He doesn't get down until we're done eating either. Family dinner is important to me. I would have been the black sheep at your MOPS meeting that day! You're a stronger one than me, Beth!! And can I say you're boys are so adorable! I can't wait to have 2 kiddos running around. I'm so excited!
Good for you, Beth! I grew up in a family where we kids at dinner in the kitchen and DAD ate dinner in front of the TV on a TV tray :(!
My family on the other hand, I raised always eating dinner together(though we did usually leave the TV on). It did get harder as the kids got older. They all became more independant and involved in their own activities(as they should do or they would never grow up!) I think we all appreciate each other more as adults now because of the respect and caring for each other we built at the family table!
Teaching children good nutrition habits is another story! I like both the many small meals or the grazing method. Be sure to set a good example by eating lots of variety and encouraging them to try new things. Let them know that just because they don't like it when they're small doesn't mean they won't like it more as they get older. Keep trying.
I'm still a fan of hot dogs with mac & cheese. But I do like steak with mushrooms and onions, too!
Sara's Mom(Vera)
PS. Zeke, Deacon and Lily look like they're having an awesome visit!
You're not the weird one. We have family dinners. My kid eats snacks during the day AND meals at the dinner table. People shouldn't open their mouths unless intelligent things are going to pop out, and saying that family dinners are impractical was very, very ignorant.
And... I don't know anybody who does the "graze and go" method of feeding their children.
And macaroni is a staple in my child's diet, so, I guess I'm weird too.
And can I just say, as a teacher, today's kids are showing up to school with less and less of a grasp on reality, everyday vocabulary, etc, and I TRULY TRULY TRULY feel like it is a direct result of the death of the family dinner table. They aren't hearing enriched, adult vocabulary words and asking questions. (That is NOT to say, however, that they aren't hearing SOME adult vocabulary... just not the "enriched" kind...) They are oblivious to the world around them because they're entertaining themselves while eating. They don't have table manners, and some of them have to be taught how to use a napkin and silverware. Anyway, I'll quit ranting now, but that was kind of a stupid generalization from that person...grrrrrrrr.
Babe, I hate to break it to you but you ARE the weird one...just not about this particular thing. Because HELLO, family dinner time is touted by about every expert out there as being, like, the shizz. And we all know I'm capable of making a far better worded argument than that but honestly, her logic is so ridiculous that I can't stop laughing enough to be serious about it. I also suspect one of the fine ladies who commented before me said insightful things that I don't need to repeat.
Family dinner has worked for me for 30 years. I loved it as a kid. We did it when Dad was in school and when he was home. We ate mac-n-cheese and we had soda. We had hot dogs. Josh is still the smartest human being on the planet in spite of it so yeah, get that MOPS lady over to your house for an hour and have him talk to her about multi-dimensional string theory and Norman Borlaug for an hour. If that's what family dinner time does, BRING IT ON.
We don't feed Sam meat right now, that's true. But it won't be true forever. Kids need a high amount of protein and fat and meat is the best way to get that. So unless you are a hyperactive recovering infertile mother of ONLY ONE CHILD and you want to spend eight hours figuring out what combination of foods will meet your child's nutritional needs, feed them some CHICKEN NUGGETS. AND STEAK. Good grief, DeeDee definitely needs steak! In fact, please give him a whole cow.
I'm just rambling now so I'll stop with this: they're your kids and your family. You know how to parent and feed them best. Rock on with your bad self.
xoxoxo
Linda, self-procalimed expert on Family Dinner Time and Nutrition (because my mom's a Home Ec teacher, doncha know.)
You are definitely not the weird one. I've found out lately that making Anna sit with us at the table is about the only way she will eat, period. She usually protests about it and I admit I used to just let her roam and play so that I could have a peaceful dinner, but like I said if we make her sit with us she usually ends up eating much better than if I just let her come at her choosing. We were also having other obedience issues so I found that having this routine, whether she likes it or not, is just another way for her to obey our rules.
oooh, lots of discussion. My MOPS group (ok, I do not have children, but I help with the Moppets so I get the emails) just talked about nutrition as well and OUR speaker said that family dinner is the MOST important thing. Like, no matter what you eat or when you eat it, sit down around the table together. Dad's deployed? Eat your cereal at the table. Having pancakes every night? Eat it at the table together. "Cradle to grave," she said, "There's nothing better for you." I'm hardly even exaggerating.
Of course you're not crazy. Mops should definitely vet the speakers a little more- maybe you should give a counter-lesson...
Thanks for praying for my anger issues. Seriously, it's so frustrating to get so frustrated at the little things!
Kevin should be back sometime in August, but we never know for sure.
Let me begin by saying...that is the problem today...noone has sit down meal time with their kids. Absolutely give them meat and have dinner time. When they get older, this is the only time you have to bond. As a mom of an almost 17 year old she will tell you that you are home for dinner no matter what. I don't call that weird, I call it caring and traditional. I say bring on the old stuff, it made all of us sane. Beth, don't give up the family time no matter what. As a teacher dealing with kids all day let me begin by saying the kids today don't have family sit down time and it is a problem. This of course is another topic for another day :)
CJ
me and chris eat together all the time family dinner is very important it lets you discuss your day. And the food thing is fine the way you do it try the snack thing with zeke and see how it works he might just think he is missing out on something. and there is nothing wrong with hot dogs, mac and cheese and baked beans very yummy i might add :o)
I laughed out loud at Linda's comments. You have a great fam! Why wouldn't you want to eat together as much as you can?! I think that idea is nuts...and speaking of nuts, didn't they mention you're not supposed to give nuts to kids under 6 b/c of choking? Every nut container has this warning. Anna eats them anyway, because they're a healthy snack she loves and I watch her closely, and she's not one to shove a fistful in, but they need to be careful what they tell folks.
For the first time in a long time I am speechless, but not surprised.
Ok Beth, You are a little weird for the mac and cheese and hotdogs every Monday night. But, since you're my friend, I've come to accept that weirdness about you. :) But what is really weird is that the MOPs speaker is our mentor mom and is a very sweet, strong Christian woman! I wish I was there to back you up.
Brian and I were eat in front of the TV or with the fridge open while we quickly talked about our day if we were even both home. Then we had Wes, he deployed, etc. and I've found the only way to get him to eat well is sit at the table, no TV, together. Maybe you should mention something at your next meeting. Isn't MOPS great though?!
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